Diaries of a Renaissance Man

The Alchemist by David Teniers de Jonge, c.1640-50

I don't know why I'm like this. Perhaps it's my fierce sense of self-reliance. Could it be my endless curiousity? Or maybe it's just arrogance. I think the answer is D, all of the above.

It be great if I wasn't like this. My list of todos would not be overflowing with items which I am unqualified to complete. But I have a compulsion to do everything on my own.

I have been unable to play my Stratocaster all week. A wire to the jack plate broke loose, so the signal from the pickups does not make the amplifier scream. I do not have a soldering kit and have never soldered before, but I will still fix this myself.

My favorite pair of blue jeans is going thread-bare in the crotch. My legs are too big and the inseams rub together. I can only get a year's worth of wear on my jeans, just enough to get them broken in. Last year, I bought a sewing machine and figured out how to darn so I can extend the life of my pants. But until I get to them, I must wear a stiff new pair instead.

Two autumns ago, I decided to rip out carpets and refinish the century-old red oak that lived beneath. That was a helluva a job. I spent a week straight running a sander on floors that a professional surely would've declared dead. But true to fashion, I only did 90% of the work. There were a few spots that needed extra love before putting down the oil. I moved on, so my floors sit bare. Sometimes people ask me: how are the floors? Still the same, I tell them, I'll get to them some other day.

I have a very very long list of things to do, that I must do myself. There's a kitchen table I built because it had to be a specific size and style, but it is still not done. Some bricks of my house need to be tuckpointed, and I've acquired the tools to do it, but yet another job. My fence needs replacing and yard needs excavating, two simple but intense projects. The movement on my favorite watch is busted, and I will try to fix it.

These are just things I do in effort to maintain the things in my life. I have a long list of hobbies I want to try in an effort to enrich my life. One of those things is this website, where I publish my essays and other ramblings.

It should be of no surprise that I made this place on my own. Not entirely, of course, as I use some tools to make it happen. But I could just use the tools in the default form, or choose some other platform like all other sane people do. Things have to be just so, though, so I will stay up well past my bedtime to fix the things that bother me.

I'm not made of money, but I should still be farming these things out. I have friends who can solder and my pants can be replaced for $50 and the weeks it would take to fix my bricks would be better spent elsewhere.

But saving a buck isn't the reason why I do this. It is because I'm fascinated with how everything functions and learning all that I can. And it's empowering to realize even my hack of an effort keeps things going, that the confidence I have in my abilities is justified.

This still isn't the reason, though.

The reason is my spirit.

It's all okay because the compulsion comes from his spirit and, dammit, the artist's job is to preserve the human spirit.

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